THE GREAT CHARTER OF FEASTERBUSH Enacted by Common Assent of the Guild of Brewers, Keepers of Casks, and the Sovereign Order of the Half-Pig

Preamble Know ye that, by the Grace of Ale and the Common Will of the Realm, We, the assembled Barons of the Brew-House and Keepers of the Hearth, have granted and by this Present Charter confirmed, for Us and Our Heirs forever, the Rights, Liberties, and Sacred Customs of the Grand Gathering of FEASTERBUSH.

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I. Of the Sacred Realm & Gathering

• Article 1. The Realm of Feasterbush shall convene biannually upon grounds appointed by the High Council of Casks. At all times, the territory shall remain a sanctuary of good cheer, free from the tyrannical impositions of watered-down lagers and meager portions.

• Article 2. No person shall be denied entry who brings forth an open heart, a stout vessel, and a fair contribution to the communal board, whether it be a rare vintage, an experimental batch, or a spit-worthy joint of meat.
   

II. Of the Laws of Drink & Feasting

• Article 3. Freedom of the Tap: All real ales, small-run casks, and experimental libations brought to the Realm shall be held in common trust. Every participant holds the ancient right to sample, judge, and celebrate the labors of the Guild without let or hindrance.

• Article 4. The Great Board: Food shall be prepared over open flames and served in abundance. Spit roasts, savory pies, and smoke-kissed meats shall be maintained continuous and hot from the setting of the sun until the first lark sings.
   

III. Of the Mythic Tithe & the Half-Pig

• Article 5. The First Pour: In solemn memory of the shadowy creature known as the Half-Pig, who walks the mists when the moon is spent, the first tankard drawn from every newly tapped cask shall be poured directly into the earth. This tithe ensures the protection of the barrels from mysterious drainage and keeps the hearth fires bright.

• Article 6. The Path of Sir Porcellus: Whosoever shall spin the finest yarn, sing the most heroic verse of the Yodeling Alpine Squirrels, or recount the noble deeds of Sir Porcellus shall be crowned Lord of the Feast for the duration of the night and awarded the First Cut of the Roast.
   

IV. Of Order & Hospitality

• Article 7. The Law of the Hearth: No feud or grievance from the world outside shall cross the boundary of the Gathering. Any traveler who causes discord, spurns the communal feast, or speaks ill of another’s brew shall be sentenced to clear the ashes and fetch the firewood until dawn.

• Article 8. The Safe Return: No guest shall depart into the night without having eaten their fill and partaken of the morning’s recovery broth, ensuring all return safely to their respective shires.
   

Given under our hands and sealed with the mark of the Foaming Tankard.